Monday, February 27, 2006

Title: History is my colouring book

Artist: Mikkel Grüner.
Medium: Page 11 ripped out of history and artified (site specific).
Value: Bids start at 10000 Euroes. This one is red hot. Buy now. Remember, just because art is a whore doesn't mean she's cheap.

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For 5 Euros I'll print this sucker out and send it to you.

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Title: Namechange 1066

Artist: Mikkel Grüner.
Medium: Site specific propaganda poster from the 11th century.
Value: 3000 Euros. Bids accepted.

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We're building an army of clones

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And then you wake up to this

Finnbül winter. It seems the spring thing was just a teaser. Some goddamn polar bear is hibernating in the garden shed so we can't leave the apart-ment. I'm going to shoot it tomorrow. I've already got a buyer for the hide.

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Title: A squirt from the sea of love

Artist: Mikkel Grüner.
Medium: Site specific collage.
Value: 7700 Euros. Bids accepted. My advice to you all is that you buy now, while they're cheap, because I'm really going to drive the prices up.

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Sick of Art?

Vote for the Singularity Caucus.

We promise to abolish art once and for all along with a few other things. Maybe not the most popular program, but at least we take sides.

(The above piece by up and coming artist Mikkel Grüner is purely illustrational. It is titled "all artists should spend a mandatory year working at a fish gutting plant" and conservatively valued at Euros 6300. Medium: Electrical tape on printer paper. Bids accepted)

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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Come see our new headquarters!

The art director has a keen sense of fashion and a highly developed taste for adventure.

My brother, on the other hand, can't even be bothered to shave.

So, are you sure you're up for this? It's a bit of a hike.
-Sure, Mikkel.
-Yeah. Show us the place.

OK. First follow me through the enchanted forest...

...Until we come to the Black Lake in the shadow of the Væærdisckäping.

The road to the Væælfæærdsschtaat is perilous. Wrought with pointy things.

Do you know that there is a village underneath the Black Lake?
-Yes. From before they built the dam.
-Look! A flock of blue herons. This truly is a magical place.

We must cross to the other side and move to higher ground, past the glacier and through the Wisswass grotto.

This is it. So what do you think?

-It looks pretty cool from the outside.
-A bit out of the way, though. How's the rent?

Don't worry about about the rent. This one will pay for itself in the long run.


Saturday, February 25, 2006

Two sides of the coin

1: The short, thick end of tarred rope between the coin and the hair is what she took from me.

2: This is the last thing an onion sees.

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Friday, February 24, 2006

Lizz made a drawing

If you want to enjoy your SHÄDY ÄCRES blögzine the way it should be enjoyed, in the universal language of love, click übersetzen resolutely.

A girl named Lizz who lives somewhere on the North American continent made this drawing. She was coming home from school on a bus. That's all I know.


Thursday, February 23, 2006

Lovely, transitory

Olympic heroes move very fast.
O, they dream such golden dreams,
O, such silver dreams they dream,
Upon the fields of Mars -
Such dreams of the red mountains;
Every day the mountains seem closer.

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Step 4 will show the completion

B1-66er wins by an amazing 28 to 2! He will receive belated e-mail replies maybe.

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All language is poetry maybe

Big caption competition. Huge. Fantastic prizes maybe. What is it saying. What is it saying. Send many answers.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Middle class revolutionaries unite!

Halt! The auction is closed.

We've changed our minds; the oh, so decadent late Victorian salon is not for sale anymore. No, no – hold your bids!

You see, it has turned out to be the perfect addition to our new headquarters; ideal for all sorts of plotting, scheming and conspiring activities - not to mention the wanton debauchery. Why, the red wine stains don’t even show!

Lo and behold, a settee so old, a sofa on which to slouch -
Woe, woe on those who oppose the Caucus and their couch!

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Dinner and a show

It's such a fine day outside.

Once again I'm done with the night shifts and I have the week off before the whole hellish cycle starts over again. I could stay in and spew out the apocalyptic visions of my tortured genius, but I think I'll go out and work on my tan instead.

Shower, shave, out the door. If you need me for something, or if you want to offer me a well paid job that doesn't require any kind of higher education, you'll find me outside.

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Monday, February 20, 2006

The maw of the fascist beast

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More specifically...

Here's our new flat. We move March the 12th. Everyone welcome to help - we will be serving cheap wine.


It's your decision

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Women prefer the Singularity Caucus

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Let the games begin


the bus window blur
short white dress, brown envelope
I'm sure it was you


Saturday, February 18, 2006

Motion II

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this policewoman
she has a corner office
weigh every word twice



I opened my coat
you leaned forward - inhaling
you still haven’t quit


Friday, February 17, 2006

Swan in a million

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Thursday, February 16, 2006


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The historical role of the Singularity Caucus

In the epoch of evil and the decay of supremacy, the power system is incapable of maintaining systematic impro-vements in the standards of living of the world’s middle classes and preserving demo-cratic rights where they exist at all. The authority society is now an absolutely reactionary social system.

This malevolent epoch is the epoch of wars and revolutions as supremacy thrashes around in its death agonies. The death agony of supremacy has repeatedly subjected the world’s middle classes to cultural repression and insolvency. All around the world, supremacy threatens to plunge humanity once more into the catastrophic cycle of depression, fascism and world war.

Only the singularity caucus can lead humanity out of the historical impasse of supremacy, by manifesting the singular revolution.

The death agony of supremacy and the consequent misery for the world’s middle classes can only be terminated by the conscious middle class revolution. The singular revolution is a conscious act of the middle class.

To realise this necessity, the vanguard fighters of the middle class must be armed with a conscious strategy, a particular program, and a vanguard singularity caucus.

Revolutionary middle class consciousness of the necessity of the singular revolution and of the methods needed for victory develops in the middle class only by means of building the singularity caucus.

The singularity caucus, based on the particular concept of the vanguard caucus and composed of the singularly conscious vanguard fighters of the middle class, is the sole historical organ of singular consciousness. This conscious strategy and vanguard instrument for the preparation and leadership of the singular revolution can only mean the recreation of the splintered singularity.

The victorious singular revolution of yesterday meant simultaneously the triumph of the singularist concept of the revolutionary vanguard caucus and the smashing defeat of the theory of the broad particularity caucus. The particularists held that the middle classes "spontaneously" develop towards singular consciousness and that therefore the task of singularists was to organise a caucus that would reflect this development.

By relying on spontaneous militancy for the development of singular consciousness, the particularists delegated the historical tasks of the singular vanguard onto the spontaneous historical process and inevitably built an opportunist caucus that eventually betrayed the singular revolution.

By contrast, the singularists, understanding that singular consciousness did not develop "spontaneously" but had to be constantly fought for, set out to build a singularity caucus capable of fighting for the singular program and transforming the revolutionary potential of spontaneous militancy into singular consciousness.

This work has now born fruit. Rejoice, for the Singularity Caucus stands victorious!

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You have chosen the Singularity

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Look what you made us do

At 5000 hits, this blögzine becomes a truth organ for the Singularity Caucus. From now on you will receive information strictly on a need-to-know basis.

There is only the Singularity.
Nothing exists outside the Singularity.
The Singularity does nothing, and yet nothing is left undone.
You have entered into the Singularity.
You serve the Singularity.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

We're not dead

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Let's get lost


Too cool for school

Late Victorian salon, anyone?

Dating from c. 1870-80, carved in rosewood, upholstered with silk damask in 1999 and in mint condition.

Entire salon (a sofa and two chairs) is valued at NKR 40,000, Euros 5,100 or USD 6,000. Bids accepted.

(Hot girlfriend and superkid not for sale at the moment, but bids accepted)

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Transmitting on the long wave band

this is the plan for

midnight there is a

dream language talking

in our sleep translate

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Friday, February 10, 2006

No more pajamas

Instructions for use:
1: Do not ingest.
2: Do not ingest.
3: Do not under any circimstances ingest.
4: Let it go, will you? No ingestion.
5: OK, you can eat this one.
6: Do not put in eye.
7: This goes on the other thing.
8: Do not insert penis.
9: Do not ingest.
10: Do not ingest or insert penis.
11-13: These are made out of gold. Gold!
14: Don't touch this.
15-16: Carefully insert penis.
17: You can put this on your head.
18: This one is purely ornamental.
19: This one is cherry flavored.
20: This connects to 14 (which you are under no circumstances to touch).
21: Do not insert into left nostril.
22: Do not insert into right nostril.
23: Chain of fools.
24-27: Fools.
28: This one is hiding.
29-30: You can put these in your mouth.
31-32: Not these.
33: This is my handle.
34: This is my snout. Do not insert penis.


Blue and white striped pajamas - epilogue

When Ellen Christensen escaped the Germans on the night the Lemon died, she left her handbag at the house. In it were four counterfeit identification cards and her account marker for the shopping centre Magasin du Nord. The Gestapo knew her identity now. She had to go underground.

Although she continued her resistance activities as a wanted woman, the Germans never found her. Ellen survived the war. She worked for a while as a surgery nurse in Sweden before she went to work for the Danish Red Cross in Poland. She also worked in Greece before civil war broke out. Working conditions were harsh, leaving her with a chronic stomach condition.

In 1953 Ellen received the Florence Nightingale medal from the Red Cross as recog-nition for her active humani-tarian work during the war. In the six day war of 1967 she worked in Israel, where she got badly hurt in an ambulance roll-over. Not long after she retired from nursing.

In 1972 she presented her medal to the Freedom Mus-eum in Copenhagen where it is exhibited. Ellen was unsenti-mental about her resistance past. The pressure had scarred her, and like many other resistance people she seldom talked about those times.

The last 26 years of her life former head nurse Ellen Chris-tensen lived at the Karoline-lundcenteret in Gjern. She died in 1998 at the age of 85.

In her will, she bequeathed all her earthly belongings to the Lemon's daughter.

- phew -

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SHÄDY ÄCRES demographics

Well what can I tell you, we've had you monkeys analyzed. This is what we came up with:

41% are disabled. You sit there, drooling, mesmerized by the flickering blue light of the monitor.

38% are surly fags. Actually, that's just one of you, but it sure feels like 38%.

21% have a gender. The others are male.

20% are, well, over the hill.

15% are asylum seekers. You flock to the cool, green hills of SHÄDY ÄCRES, hoping for a better life.

16% are generic. Plain Jane. For your profile you use a funny picture you found using the Google searchphrase: "funny picture".

6% are homeless. You wander aimlessly from one net café to the other.

5% are gypsy/travellers. Next blog. Next blog. Next blog.

5% are prostitutes, and not the high class escort kind if you catch my drift.

6% are something other than the above. This segment includes storfs, ninjas and eskimos.

If you add up these percentages you'll find there are not nearly enough chairs. 5% of you have to sit on my lap, and I'm not talking about the gypsies.