Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Lust in translation

OK, so I'm having a conversation with what I presume is a Japanese spam bot in the comments of a previous post. For your entertainment I have used Google Translate to give the already hilarious exchange the added dimension of Chinese whispers.

(No, not Japanese whispers, because that's a compilation album by British group The Cure. I hardly ever listen to The Cure anymore, not since Robert Smith started taking anti-depressants. But that's beside the point.)

Japanese spam bots are GO!

Anonymous 人妻 said...


6:22 AM


(Housewife said ...
H socializing with their wives, of course socializing practical-minded and OK! Here are their wives to taste erotic frustration. Immediately met, a young wife, celebrity, Mature, SM wife, secret, six more women want to play Please select from one genre)
Blogger Mikkel said...

You lost me at hello.

10:55 AM

Blogger Mikkel said...

Hey, I know you! You're that Japanese crawler whose IP I blocked because you sent me 40.000 hits a day. Thanks for the link to your porn site, though. I'm definitely going to check it out!

11:10 AM

Anonymous サイドビジネス said...


5:31 AM

(Side business said ...
Million - 5 per day offers you can get a side business. Female celebrities nymphomaniac the next man he met on the Internet people are lying about eating with the power of money. Why women make good money for such a finger)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Well, now you're just teasing me. Besides, my penis is much bigger than that, so I'm afraid it breaks the suspension of disbelief when you show me pictures like that. Please put some normal-sized penises into your porn next time. But keep the petite, submissive women.

9:15 AM

Anonymous Hチェッカー said...


5:50 AM

(H Checker said ...
H Checker everyone to enjoy! Only the hidden answers to your questions in a simple frequency H is known to tea! Now try to diagnose Chau Muttsuri like him more than once Bale)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Well I've never. That is amazing. Did you just build an invisible superpenis out of Japanese letters? Truly magnificent.

8:59 AM

Anonymous 家出 said...


6:18 AM

(Away from home said ...
The recent trend away from home message boards, and wrote many messages are runaway girl is walking around the Internet cafes, etc. stay. They are going to stay as soon as the men he met at the bulletin board at the house I have no money. Why even write you back an answer)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Now that you mention it, I am a bit worried about the tiny, black hole in the fabric of space. But the people at CERN, who run the Large Hadron Collider, say they have the miniscule black hole under quarantine and are monitoring its progression. So I guess we're going to be fine.

Apparently they're trying to re-create and study the origins of the universe or something, and to end the search for the elusive Higgs Boson or 'God particle', whatever the hell that is.

8:08 AM

Anonymous 高収入アルバイト said...


6:10 AM

(High-income part-time job said ...
Too much sexual desire, with the price of money has been frustrated women, and healing work that you may have. Join Niatari paper, and 問Imasen any educational background. If you are interested in high-income part-time job Zehi interest)
Blogger Mikkel said...

God, I'm sorry to hear that. Were you two close? It's always sad when family members have their heads and legs cut off in freak sushi making accidents, but I must say, this remembrance page you've set up for your sister is very touching. I like how all her girlfriends have left little comments and anecdotes. Very moving.

8:48 AM

Anonymous 高級チェリー said...


6:28 AM

(Luxury Cherry said ...
Virginity is like robbing the women, for men "first experience" that only once in a lifetime, I have to inscribe in mind that the supreme pleasure of a special event together. Best quality cherries and women like you want to make a SEX such Virgin)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Dear Luxury Housewife 2000.

This is to tell you that I'm breaking up with you. I ran your letters through Google Translate and now the mystery is gone.

I always imagined we would have little spam botlets and grow old together, or rather, I would grow old and you would stay exactly the same. But it wasn't to be.

It seems you have been playing me for a fool. Those words at the bottom of the page, those cold, terrible words: "All rights reserved. Japanese use only."

How can I go on? How can I go on pretending you love me? No. It's over. I am not taking you back. Not this time.

8:47 AM

That's it so far.

So now you know: People are lying about eating with the power of money.

Anyway, I'll let you all know how this evolves. I'm pretty sure we haven't heard the last of Luxury Housewife 2000!


Anonymous ungovernable said...

H is not a person. it means sex. it's the capital letter of Hentai:
変体 The word is put together by the two signs meaning 'weird' + 'body' and thus means strange things with body.. H is pronounced 'echi', somewhat like the phonetic H in the english alphabet.

12:00 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

AHA! Strange things with the body...

12:02 pm  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

strange things with body indeed =)

12:49 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

That's very wise. And in my country we have another saying:


8:33 am  
Blogger Lasse said...

HA HA !!

3:39 pm  
Blogger Lasse said...

noget helt andet - jeg vil lige henlede din opmærksomhed på denne artikel. af RJJ

4:00 pm  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

I don't like kanji, but I respect them.

1:18 pm  

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