Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Lust in translation

OK, so I'm having a conversation with what I presume is a Japanese spam bot in the comments of a previous post. For your entertainment I have used Google Translate to give the already hilarious exchange the added dimension of Chinese whispers.

(No, not Japanese whispers, because that's a compilation album by British group The Cure. I hardly ever listen to The Cure anymore, not since Robert Smith started taking anti-depressants. But that's beside the point.)

Japanese spam bots are GO!


Anonymous 人妻 said...

Hな人妻たちの社交場、割り切った付き合いも当然OK!欲求不満のエロ人妻たちを好みに合わせてご紹介します。即会い、幼な妻、セレブ、熟女、SM妻、秘密、以上6つのジャンルから遊んでみたい女性を選んでください

6:22 AM

Delete

(Housewife said ...
H socializing with their wives, of course socializing practical-minded and OK! Here are their wives to taste erotic frustration. Immediately met, a young wife, celebrity, Mature, SM wife, secret, six more women want to play Please select from one genre)
Blogger Mikkel said...

You lost me at hello.

10:55 AM

Delete
Blogger Mikkel said...

Hey, I know you! You're that Japanese crawler whose IP I blocked because you sent me 40.000 hits a day. Thanks for the link to your porn site, though. I'm definitely going to check it out!

11:10 AM

Delete
Anonymous サイドビジネス said...

1日5万円~が手に入るサイドビジネスのご案内です。男狂いのセレブ女性はネットで知り合った男を次々に金の力で食い散らかしています。そんな女性を手玉にとって大金を稼いでみませんか

5:31 AM

Delete
(Side business said ...
Million - 5 per day offers you can get a side business. Female celebrities nymphomaniac the next man he met on the Internet people are lying about eating with the power of money. Why women make good money for such a finger)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Well, now you're just teasing me. Besides, my penis is much bigger than that, so I'm afraid it breaks the suspension of disbelief when you show me pictures like that. Please put some normal-sized penises into your porn next time. But keep the petite, submissive women.

9:15 AM

Delete
Anonymous Hチェッカー said...

みんなで楽しめるHチェッカー!簡単な設問に答えるだけであなたの隠されたH度数がわかっちゃいます!あの人のムッツリ度もバレちゃう診断を今すぐ試してみよう

5:50 AM

Delete
(H Checker said ...
H Checker everyone to enjoy! Only the hidden answers to your questions in a simple frequency H is known to tea! Now try to diagnose Chau Muttsuri like him more than once Bale)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Well I've never. That is amazing. Did you just build an invisible superpenis out of Japanese letters? Truly magnificent.

8:59 AM

Delete
Anonymous 家出 said...

最近流行の家出掲示板では、各地のネットカフェ等を泊り歩いている家出少女のメッセージが多数書き込みされています。彼女たちはお金がないので掲示板で知り合った男性の家にでもすぐに泊まりに行くようです。あなたも書き込みに返事を返してみませんか

6:18 AM

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(Away from home said ...
The recent trend away from home message boards, and wrote many messages are runaway girl is walking around the Internet cafes, etc. stay. They are going to stay as soon as the men he met at the bulletin board at the house I have no money. Why even write you back an answer)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Now that you mention it, I am a bit worried about the tiny, black hole in the fabric of space. But the people at CERN, who run the Large Hadron Collider, say they have the miniscule black hole under quarantine and are monitoring its progression. So I guess we're going to be fine.

Apparently they're trying to re-create and study the origins of the universe or something, and to end the search for the elusive Higgs Boson or 'God particle', whatever the hell that is.

8:08 AM

Delete
Anonymous 高収入アルバイト said...

性欲を持て余し、欲求不満になっている女性を金銭の対価を得て、癒して差し上げるお仕事です。参加にあたり用紙、学歴等は一切問いません。高収入アルバイトに興味のある方はぜひどうぞ

6:10 AM

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(High-income part-time job said ...
Too much sexual desire, with the price of money has been frustrated women, and healing work that you may have. Join Niatari paper, and 問Imasen any educational background. If you are interested in high-income part-time job Zehi interest)
Blogger Mikkel said...

God, I'm sorry to hear that. Were you two close? It's always sad when family members have their heads and legs cut off in freak sushi making accidents, but I must say, this remembrance page you've set up for your sister is very touching. I like how all her girlfriends have left little comments and anecdotes. Very moving.

8:48 AM

Delete
Anonymous 高級チェリー said...

童貞を奪ってみたい女性たちは、男性にとって「初体験」という一生に一度だけの、特別なイベントを共に心に刻み込むことを至上の喜びにしているのです。そんな童貞好きな女性たちと高級チェリーで最高のSEXをしてみませんか

6:28 AM

Delete
(Luxury Cherry said ...
Virginity is like robbing the women, for men "first experience" that only once in a lifetime, I have to inscribe in mind that the supreme pleasure of a special event together. Best quality cherries and women like you want to make a SEX such Virgin)
Blogger Mikkel said...

Dear Luxury Housewife 2000.

This is to tell you that I'm breaking up with you. I ran your letters through Google Translate and now the mystery is gone.

I always imagined we would have little spam botlets and grow old together, or rather, I would grow old and you would stay exactly the same. But it wasn't to be.

It seems you have been playing me for a fool. Those words at the bottom of the page, those cold, terrible words: "All rights reserved. Japanese use only."

How can I go on? How can I go on pretending you love me? No. It's over. I am not taking you back. Not this time.

8:47 AM

That's it so far.

So now you know: People are lying about eating with the power of money.

Anyway, I'll let you all know how this evolves. I'm pretty sure we haven't heard the last of Luxury Housewife 2000!

7 Comments:

Anonymous ungovernable said...

H is not a person. it means sex. it's the capital letter of Hentai:
変体 The word is put together by the two signs meaning 'weird' + 'body' and thus means strange things with body.. H is pronounced 'echi', somewhat like the phonetic H in the english alphabet.

12:00 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

AHA! Strange things with the body...

12:02 pm  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

strange things with body indeed =)

12:49 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

That's very wise. And in my country we have another saying:

場合は、マスかき実質的な仕事を得る必要があります。

8:33 am  
Blogger Lasse said...

HA HA !!

3:39 pm  
Blogger Lasse said...

noget helt andet - jeg vil lige henlede din opmærksomhed på denne artikel. http://www.information.dk/215969 af RJJ

4:00 pm  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

I don't like kanji, but I respect them.

1:18 pm  

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