Saturday, January 03, 2009

The SHÄDY ÄCRES predictions for 2009

OK I'm drunk so I'm going to be brief like the proverbial penis in a jar.

If you go back through the archives and check our New Year predictions you will see that every single one has come true. So pay heed!

1: Obama. He turns out to be a robot.

2: Finally - the Pacific century! We had the Atlantic centuries - they're so over. The Pacific is the new Atlantic. It's the China-Erica axis with a little Japan and India thrown in. FORGET the Atlantic!!! From now on it's all Pacific.

3: Israel sucks ass. Get with the pogrom already. Nazi Jews are not cool.

4: Russia. Let's face it, they're not going to go away soon. Medvedev turns out to be OK though. No fucking way dude!!!!! Yes way! Surprise! OK maybe not.

5: China. It sucks in so many ways. Still, they have an ancient culture. Like the Etruscans, but more ancienter. STAY China! STAY!

8: Ewrope. It would be nice to see a genuine world leader emerge from the region, but we have put mechanisms in place to ensure that it does not happen in 2009.

15: Africa. Civil war in a starving nation. Devastating famine. Refugee disaster. More famine. Again you helplessly watch it all unfold from your living room. Again you ask yourself why your leaders are so hopelessly incompetent. You cry into your hands, disgusted with your own powerlessness.

11 Comments:

Blogger mrtn said...

Actually, I was interviewing this Chinese guy last summer and he basically made argument 5. Since China is way, way ancient, they shouldn't have to have democracy or human rights. (I paraphrase.)

Also, haven't I seen number 15 somewhere before? Oh, that's right: the last 200 years.

And re: #1 - You forgot to mention that he is an Autobot, not a Decepticon. He was considering Optimus Prime as running mate.

11:58 pm  
Blogger børvis said...

9. UK. There must be a name for a country whos subway stops running when there is a leaf on the track... suggestions appreciated.

10. Norway. Well, things will look a lot better as I'm coming home

1:09 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

When??

7:07 pm  
Blogger børvis said...

asap, har oppkjoering paa bil 13feb, saa like etter det forutsatt jeg ikke stryker! leilighet ligger klar, haaper jeg faar job foer jeg kommer, men kan faa bo der gratis til jeg finner jobb, saa naa er det vel egentlig ingeting som stopper meg. finally...

7:33 pm  
Blogger børvis said...

saa naa har jeg sagt opp jobben, planen er at jeg er i Bergen rundt midten av februar :) BRING IT ON!

7:42 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

HIDE THE CRISPS!!!!!!!!

6:58 am  
Blogger børvis said...

Mikkel, kjenner du noen som har varebil til privat utleie for en kort uke for flyttelass london-bergen?

1:20 pm  
Blogger Sara said...

Nei, jeg tror ikke det. Med eller uten sjåfør?

3:41 pm  
Blogger Sara said...

Det er meg i kjole. Mikkel.

3:43 pm  
Blogger børvis said...

uten

7:29 pm  
Blogger børvis said...

mmm sexy

7:30 pm  

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