Sunday, November 25, 2007

Bring out your dead

We fear we may be having some sort of Malthusian crisis. We have reproduced so greatly that our population now goes beyond the limits of our food supply, and the current pandemic (we call it “the Great Pestilence” after my grandmother) is merely a necessary and long overdue corrective to an overpopulated apartment.

The place is a mess, as you can imagine. Great pits are dug, and piled deep with the multitude of dead. And as soon as those ditches are filled more are dug. And there are those who are so sparsely covered with earth that the dogs drag them forth and devour them throughout the apartment. I’m not going to name names, but, you know.

The mood in general has turned very morbid, and dark with representations of death, mostly in the Greco-Roman style. We gather together in great bands and dance La Danse Macabre. Well, not me, I’m not much of a dancer. I just practice my alchemy and tap my feet to the rhythm.

Alas, father abandons child, and wife husband; for this illness seems to strike through the breath and sight. And so we must perish, and none can be found to bury us for money or friendship. We will cast ourselves in a ditch as best we can, without priest, without divine offices, without shoes on our feet.

O death! Cruel, bitter, impious death! ...Lamenting our misery, we fear to fly, yet we dare not remain.

There are no one left to weep for us, for all await death. And so terrible is this disease that all believe it is the end of the world. I personally blame the Jews. Those pesky Jews have been poisoning our wells. It’s the only plausible explanation.

Adieu! Farewell earth’s blisse -
This world uncertaine is.

Goodbye.

Farewell.

Adieu.

Aaaaaaaand goodbye.

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