Thursday, July 19, 2007

Warning: This post contains spoilers!

A leaked copy of the highly anticipated last work in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the gay xylophonist by three time Nobel Prize nominee Adolf P. Roosevelt, has fallen into our hands here at SHÄDY ÄCRES.

To make a long story short, this is what happens: In the beginning of the book, Harry Potter wins an aluminium medal in the 2009 Autumn Olympics. Later he befriends a giant porcupine by the name of Lola, and develops a mustard addiction. At the beginning of the second act we find Harry somewhere in the Basra area of Iraq, acting as bodyguard to Prince Henry of Wales. He proceeds to tame a unicorn by stroking its penis. At the very end Harry Potter grows a moustache and changes his name to Jesus Frodo Skywalker the Good. The book ends with the enigmatic words: “The scar was almost completely gone now, but sometimes there was a dull ache where his left testicle had once been.”

In an uncharacteristically rapid response to this very post, a spokesperson for the Winchester P. Gandhi publishing house said the following: "We all have our theories on how the series will end, but the only way we'll know for sure is to buy the book ourselves. We certainly haven’t leaked anything in some giant, predictable marketing manouvre. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish reading the Wizard of Earthsea trilogy by Ursula K. LeGuin.”

5 Comments:

Anonymous ungovernable said...

i commented on this days ago. Just great! i said

5:14 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

Did you comment in invisible ink? By the way, Sara told me after I wrote this that you'd changed your name to Skywalker. It wasn't to spite you.

5:50 pm  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

i didn't feel spited at all, i felt it to be sort of a hommage actually. me being all me me me and all. i have a fucked up name now and i like it, just gotta watch out for that dark side.

10:43 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

Too late, baby.

11:31 am  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

that's what they said at steinerskolen 15 years ago

12:26 pm  

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