Thursday, July 26, 2007

Kill the dwarves

Government means taxes. I get it. The state is out to get my money. It’s my very own hard-earned money and the state wants to steal it from me. But you know what? That’s OK with me, and I’ll tell you why: Primarily for political reasons that I don’t care to debate with you.

But also for this very simple reason: When the state wants my money it’s very discreet about it. It just takes the money right out of my wallet and leaves a little note saying: “Hey, it’s just me again, I took some money to use for health care and stuff, hope it’s not a problem, see you next month.” Sure, fine, whatever. I could’ve used that money for canned tomatoes or something, but I guess I’ll survive.

But when Capitalism wants my money – man, it just won’t shut up. Like I’m on a bus. Someone on the next seat keeps slapping my face. I look over, it’s Capitalism. “Hey man, have a tampon.”

It seems like everywhere I go there’s this hungry little dwarf pulling at my shirttails. “Hey man, want to buy a rose scented tampon?” I don’t use tampons, asshole. “Oh, I wasn’t talking to you.” Then why are you shouting into my ear? And why do you have your hands in my pocket all the time? Here, take the money, take it, just go away, jeez. Fucking rose scented tampons.

2 Comments:

Blogger Susanne said...

In Warsaw I bought some delightful pantyliners sented with camomille. I guess it was some kind of combi deal between the pantyliner company and, erh, Lipton or something - hmmmmmm, and it makes you wonder.

11:03 pm  
Blogger suttonhoo said...

just read a study that concluded folks are less likely to take a cookie, when offered, if that cookie is touching a tampon package.

true story.

why anyone decided they needed to study this phenomenon, I'm not quite sure...

nothing was said about the scent.

5:39 pm  

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