Monday, July 30, 2007

A few thoughts on book burning

Some would argue that in a true democracy book burning is never morally acceptable or even necessary. In fact, they would argue, the existence of opposing political views is an indispensable component of a free society.

Thus, when different schools of thought are expressed in written form, one should always value the literary product on principle, even if one has no regard for the meaning it conveys. From this viewpoint, book burning does irretrievable damage to our common cultural heritage, and constitutes a crime against the human spirit.

But say for example that it’s very, very cold. You’re snowbound on the Siberian tundra, with a newborn baby entrusted in your care, and all you have on you is a box of matches and the collected works of former North Korean dictator Kim Il-Sung in duplicate copies. Would it be wrong to burn one set of books then, I ask you? Of course it wouldn’t!

One would have to be very cold hearted indeed to allow an innocent child to come to harm just so one could defend some high-flying personal principle. As the immortal Sigmund P. Freud writes in his Strap-on Dildos and Their Relation to the Unconscious, “it is a sad world where newborn babies are allowed to undergo hypothermia in the name of liberty.”

I personally couldn’t agree more. How many babies have to freeze to death on the Siberian tundra before the citizens of this great nation wake up to the harsh realities of life in the twenty-first century? There’s a War on Terror going on, if you didn’t already know it. Do you think the heroes of 9/11 would hesitate to set books on fire if it could save the life of a child? I think not.

Support the troops! And by troops I mean people who burn books.

8 Comments:

Blogger Sara said...

I'm right behind you with a box of matches and a stack og Harry Potter books.

9:47 am  
Blogger Susanne said...

Burn, Harry, burn!

10:02 pm  
Blogger mrtn said...

Enough with the Harry Potter-bashing. Get off your unpopular-cultural high horse and stop flogging it.

3:14 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

1) You're missing the point.
2) You have bad taste in books.

3:25 pm  
Blogger ion said...

This would make a great coffeetable book:

"Burn this book!"

With matching matches. And 3D fold-out pages reconstructing the ten best book burning fires from around the world. And fun activities for the whole family.

Or maybe a cookbook/disposable grill hybrid for the barbecue season? Great for those picnics in the park.

5:59 pm  
Blogger mrtn said...

In response to your points:

1) No.
2) Dude. No.

10:27 am  
Anonymous ion said...

Field studies shows that burned makes even good books taste bad. Can someone pass the barbecue sauc

11:20 pm  
Anonymous ion said...

Field studies shows that burned makes even good books taste bad. Can someone pass the barbecue sauce?

11:22 pm  

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