Thursday, October 12, 2006

So long and thanks for all the porn

America, we need to talk. Look, this is just not working out. We really like you, but there's just no real chemistry between you and us anymore, is there? And besides, we're going through a selfish phase right now.

No, no - it's not you. We really like you. And we don't have to end it end it, we can just take a little break. We'll still see you in the UN of course, but we can't NATO you anymore.

No, don't cry. No, please don't - oh, great. Here come the waterworks.

OK listen: Stop the show. It is you. Is that what you want to hear? Lately you've just let yourself go. You're too fat, goddammit. And you're so... Angry all the time. The lying, the stealing. The yelling. The constant abuse. We're afraid to take you anywhere. You know how we feel about the scenes you make in public. It's embarrasing.

And it's really heartbreaking, because you have so much going for you. We've loved you so much. But we have to be honest with you, we have to take care of ourselves. We're not sure what your issues are, but you clearly need to work some things out for yourself. You're a grown nation.

We're leaving now. Take care, America.

We'll always have Normandy.

5 Comments:

Anonymous America said...

Its all projection you know that, right! Besides, I don´t neeeeeed you.

7:00 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

Talk to the hand, girlfriend.

7:13 pm  
Anonymous america said...

It comes down to penis envy, doesn't it?

Yes, and size does matter.

9:03 pm  
Blogger Sara said...

I smell a yank.

11:37 pm  
Blogger Lasse said...

Hi hi hi

3:22 pm  

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