Saturday, July 29, 2006

Finnmärck in a nutshell

- A Volkswagen Odyssey -

Have you ever been to Finnmärck? It's a beautiful country, inhabited by attractive idiots. You should definitely come. You look like you need a vacation.

Why not get yourself a green Volkswagen for this magical journey? Let me put it another way: Get a green Volkswagen or the troll will devour you.

You must pass through the Wisswass Grotto to higher ground. It is an enchanted place, and practically troll free these days.

Finnmärck has several high standard golf courses, some of them rated among the best in the topmost part of Northern Europe. There are both parkland and woodland courses, nine and eighteen hole. Some of them are situated on hillsides and have a magnificent view of the valley below.

The eerie landmarks of an ancient culture will show you the way. Look for a sign in the clouds.

Pay the troll. Did I say troll? I meant toll. Pay the toll, and be quick about it!

When you reach the plateau you will hear Volk music. Volk music is a musical genre with rich traditions in Finnmärck. Often the Volk music is related to local events, mountain farm life and the toil of daily duties. It is part of everyday life, an applied form of music that animates people’s surroundings! Volk music helps preserve the old traditional music, but at the same time the Volk musicians constantly obtain new impulses and continue to develop their style.

The twin ravens follow you on the way to the foothills of destiny, bringing tidings of your journey back to their master who dwells in shadow. Don’t feed the birds. Never feed the birds.

This is the Sherpa who will take you to the top of the Væærdisckäping. You think I’m kidding, don’t you? No my friend, this is an authentic Sherpa. He isn’t cheap, either. Keep your cash handy.

Keep walking: Finnmärck is synonymous with great contrasts. One moment there is peace and quiet, while the next is filled with world-class cultural events and pulsating summer fair activities. Picture yourself in a canoe on a quiet mountain lake, or rafting on wild rapids accompanied by other adventurers. Whatever you do, keep walking.

OK, you can open your eyes now.

Open your eyes. There are storfs on the glacier.

Traverse the glacier and follow the fjord inland. Remember that food traditions are important in Finnmärck, as some of the best, local agricultural produce originates right here. The meal is an integral part of the genuine Finnmärck experience.

Many of the operators in the region take great pains to provide a unique and TOTAL food experience for their guests. One of the most well-known is Bjärne Gätekjökken, with his philosophy of genuine and original taste which governs his Dödens Pölse concept (Natural Cooking). He and many other local cooks work meticulously to keep old food traditions alive. The so-called cultural farms are excellent examples of this type of work.

Don't forget your rain coat, and keep in mind that while tradition certainly forms a solid base for Finnmärscker cuisine, local cooks also emphasise innovation. This goes for the meal itself as well as the TOTAL product of which food is only one part.

All regional operators are proud to offer traditional food from their area, and work to ensure their visitors an exceptional experience by preparing the food from scratch and using only local produce. This creates a unique framework for the TOTAL food experience.

Drive carefully if you ever want to find your way back to civilization.

Or whatever you want to call it.

Finnmärck also has a long woodcarving tradition. Examples of the old building styles are seen throughout the valleys of this great nation even today. The burnt, weather-beaten log houses with either slate or turf roofs, the beautiful stave churches and the rose painted and wood carved furniture tells the tale of generations of skilled craftsmen. Look what they did to my childhood, for example. They fixed it right up.

Goats are always a sign of something, but you can never be quite sure what it is.

Now, follow the green train.

Follow it into the stomach of the earth and out the other side.

You are now leaving Finnmärck, the land of the happy nice people. Tourists are welcome, foreigners not particularly.

12 Comments:

Anonymous ungovernable said...

yea finnmärck is a skikkelig smöröye of a country

1:03 am  
Blogger Lasse said...

What beautiful pictures and lovely walk through.
Believe it or not but I rented skis from that Intersport shop in Beitosølen in 1988. What is up with that "Fjamsbanan" train? That is the silliest name I have ever heard

1:31 am  
Blogger Lasse said...

ok i missed a T in Beitostølen!

1:33 am  
Blogger Mikkel said...

Beitosølen makes more sense. And yeah, what the hell is up with that train?!

1:58 am  
Anonymous ungovernable said...

lol i didn't notice, fjamsbanan, exellent! think i'll use it as a swearword.. the train from fjams, what was that you said once, it's all about location, location, location?
lotion, lotion, lotion.

1:03 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

Finally someone got it. I did a little shop job on it.

3:03 pm  
Blogger Lasse said...

Fjamsbanan drives through tunnels you know!

8:49 pm  
Blogger Lasse said...

This makes perfect sense!

8:50 pm  
Blogger MGL said...

Oh, hey, nice shop job. Didn't even see it at this screen resolution.

9:59 am  
Blogger Sara said...

yes, it's a pretty good shop job.

3:40 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

I'm glad you like my shop job.

3:41 pm  
Blogger Sara said...

Hey, swinepung, are you posting as me again? Note to readers: if I seem to be saying overly nice things about Mikkel's posts, chances are he's pos(t)ing as me. That came out wrong. oh, well. Hurumph.

11:51 pm  

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