Friday, May 05, 2006

The tourist season starts at high noon

A traveler can approach Lüleå from any direction but northwest. The railroad stops right here and goes no further. Airplanes will land but immediately take off again. There is a post boat that comes up the river once a week. Everybody owns their own car.

The city has a long history: All night long you can follow the comet’s tail with your own eyes. It seems closer every day. Beacons are set ablaze along the coast to lure ships aground on the shoals and skerries. I once saw a salamander darting through the fire.

The women are very tall. They talk about their eggs like in any other city. Pornography is banned, but in the gift shop you will find high quality erotic prints from the 15th century. Do not attempt to use them for masturbation; they will only depress you more.

Remember to wash your hands. The water is so clean you’ll die if you drink it. The food is a fish. Do you like violins? You simply have to. Take the number 7 bus from the city center and back.

Rent a bicycle at the natural gas museum. If it’s overcast you can’t see the mountain from a balloon.

Pets walk the street without a leash. Exchange rates are tolerable. Ask one of our guides. Don’t trust the locals.

10 Comments:

Anonymous question said...

... has he cut his hand again?

11:26 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

He burned his hand boiling oxtails and yet failed to write about it on his blog.

The night before he helped us move he scraped his knuckles while sleeping (!) and had to wear bandaids.

It's the curse of the brussel sprout or something.

11:38 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

Notice the extremely scientific method the actor/food critic applies in his valiant search for the perfect caipirinha.

His notes, found in the kitchen the next horrible day, is a glimpse into the psyche of a true scientist.

12:05 am  
Anonymous adam said...

I have finally got a broadband connection. I am now an authorised citizen of hyper-consumerist Europe!!!

12:02 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

AAAaaargh! You beat us to it.

9:31 pm  
Anonymous nicole said...

ahh Capirinhas. I drank them in Argentina but I understood them in Brazil.

12:53 pm  
Blogger Mikkel said...

That is an unbelievably cool thing to say.

9:47 pm  
Blogger haiku cafe said...

http://www.fairyday.com/

a doll was given
someone gets empowered -
Gods campfire in bone

psst: download this NOW!!!!

1:22 am  
Blogger haiku cafe said...

or this even!!!!

1:25 am  
Blogger Mikkel said...

So they let you out again, eh? Good for you.

You know, I have come to think of you almost as a sort of gnome that lives at the back of the SHÄDY ÄCRES garden.

6:27 pm  

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