Monday, November 28, 2005

My recent brush with science

I had a terrible day today. Why, you wonder? Well, first of all I didn't sleep all night, wondering whether my intestines were going to burst, leaving me to die slowly, and surely painfully.

This inevitably led to hospitalisation. After the 4th shot of opioids and anti-puke serum I was poked and prodded by several friendly people. At this point, my count was up to 16 different friendly people. After a dazzling array of tests, I fell asleep in my bed.

Shortly after, a woman and six nervous 3rd year Med students arrived to poke and prod me some more. By this time the pain had receded, but apparently the morphine had made me evil.

They all anxiously looked on as their supervisor proceded to demonstrate how to squeeze my stomach. I gave them my best suffering look and winced. And now it's your turn, she said. They all stared at my stomach scar. One guy asked; Ahem, do we have to write in the journal that she has a tattoo? I laughed loudly. The supervisor gave him a toxic stare. He blushed.

The next guy up was sweating, he definitely didn't feel like putting his hand on my stomach. As soon as he touched it, very lightly, I yelled AW! He jumped backwards and I gave him a retarded smile. They thanked me and left.

After that I wrestled my way out of hospital and went home to Mikkel. Phew.

So what was wrong with me? Who knows.

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