Friday, September 30, 2005

Finnmaercium 23

This elusive substance was first encountered by a team of Finnmärscker lab attendants trying to make condensed water as a party trick.

Even though the experiment has been repeated on numerous occasions, the exact conditions are hard to duplicate without vomiting. For this reason, there is not nearly enough of the stuff to go around.

Finnmaercium 23 tastes somewhat like sugar, only slightly better. In its vaporized state it smells pretty good, and as a liquid it's nice and creamy. It solidifies at room temperature and can be stored easily, e.g. under a bed.

There's only one problem. It's really not good for you. But knowing this about it only makes you want it more, doesn't it? Well, you can't have it. It's mine.

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