Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The insanity report

I was going to make a list of the most insane nations on Earth, and then rate them. It’s cheap, I know, and it’s been done a million times before. But you could say the same thing about your favorite sexual position, right? Anyway, the contestants seemed to fall into three categories:

1) The USA. So crazy it needs it own category.

2) Other crazy, militaristic nations that aren’t really funny, just scary, like: North Korea, Burma, Indonesia, Israel, and

3) Crazy, but somehow less scary third world countries, like:

a) South Africa: We liked them better under the grinding heel of oppression, didn’t we? Imagine the incompetence you would need to make the Apartheid system look like sort of a good idea.

b) Afghanistan: Even the CNN had a hard time with this one. Reporters would go: “Finally, the Afghan people are free to engage in their national sport, which was banned by the Taliban.” Cut to the good citizens of Kabul playing polo with the severed head of a goat.

c) Madagascar: One of the poorest countries on Earth, these people think it’s a great idea - once a year - to get really, really drunk, dig up their dead ancestors, and put a new set of clothes on them. Apparently they want the corpses to feel fresh.

d) India: Millions of starving people without arms and legs, and yet they seem to think they can afford a nuclear arms program. It’s a question of priorities, I guess. Have you ever met anyone who’s been to India and didn’t hate it? Oh, you have. Well, then, have you ever met anyone who had their arm broken by a swan? No. See?!

This is as far as I got. Then I started thinking about how much I hate Sweden. Not because they're crazy. Quite the opposite, in fact.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

someone said sweden smells like glögg

6:22 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home