Saturday, August 27, 2005

And now the weather: Deluge

In our fair city of Lüleå, it rains an average of 777 days a year. This is due partly to local meteorological phenomena, partly to a curse cast from the stake by Jäne Ggüm, a notorious medieval witch. The curse can never be completely removed, but in 1349 it was contained by a great sacrificial ritual.

You see, the city was built between 7 mountains: Öldricken, Lüderhören, Lövsteken, Häagen-Dazs, Sneezy, Donner and Blitzen. Together they form the Bömpengeringen, a giant septagram*. Every year, part of our municipal tax goes to maintaining the Bömpengeringen, and we pay gladly. If we didn't, we'd all walk around with rusted armor, blunted weapons, questions unanswered and desires unfulfilled - unless of course we took the hand in marriage of the ugliest creature in the land, which is kind of a bummer.

Unfortunately, there is a fissure in the Bömpengeringen. The crack occurs in the upmarket part, on the right side of the tracks - what used to be the sunny side of town. It creates a magic vaccuum which makes it rain all day, all week, all year, and as a side effect it also somehow makes the well to do exempt from paying their municipal taxes.

Anyway, you learn to live with it. "It may cause spleen, but it keeps the streets clean and the hillsides green", as the old folks say. Summers are brief and frantic; You have to dart half naked through the narrow city streets, dodging the raindrops and the Japanese tourists, to catch the bolts of sunlight that appear without warning.

Recently, the autumn rains have started for real, which means we probably won't see the sun for another 7 or 8 months. We all brace ourselves. In fact, I'm bracing myself right now.

*) A magic symbol which wraps the mighty power of a septic tank into the lovely shape of a kiss-o-gram.

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2 Comments:

Blogger MGL said...

Stop it, you're spleening me!

10:09 am  
Anonymous the allseeing eye said...

greetings from stöckhölmür by the sea where the sün is shining ferociously on the water ...

5:19 pm  

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